October Growth Edge
Ungrounded
In a conversation with a friend she mentioned that she had observed a subtle flip that I do from grounded to ungrounded. So I have become curious about this. When she said it I had a sense in my body what that was, but not a deep understanding. I became very curious about it. As I reflected I remembered times when I am very grounded and centered and times when I am light and flighty. I became curious about both of these. What happened before I moved from one to the other? And when did it begin happening?
I settled into a meditative state (using my breath to relax and center myself). I asked myself; “what are the subtle sensations are inside, just before I move from grounded and centered to ungrounded?” I sat, breathing in a connected fashion and noticed the sensations inside. What I became aware of was an uncomfortable almost unnoticeable flutter panic just to the left of my heart center. It amazes me how subtle the sensations were and a bit slippery (hard to stay with them). Once I was able to focus and feel them for a bit, the intensity grew and grew. I allowed myself to sink into the feeling, letting it intensify and continued to let the feeling unravel itself. I used Transformational Breath (a deep connected breath) and continued to feel the sensations. As I breathed and allowed the old thought patterns and words to arise, the intensity grew a bit more. Allowing the layers of charge to arise, be felt and integrated. The image of being a 3 year old and thinking I needed to be funny and entertaining to stay safe arose. The sensation of panic in my chest grew and intensified. This is an old, familiar, deeply ingrained pattern that I am grateful to uncover and give my loving attention to. As I continued to breathe and feel, allowing the layers of charge to arise, be felt and integrated, the sensations shifted to peace and space. I began feeling a deep compassion for the little one inside who was scared. She didn’t know what else to do but to move out of grounded wholeness and into flighty entertainer. I am continuing to explore this and sit with the unfolding sensations as the layers unfold and integrate.
Have fun exploring and growing:-)